1/28/14
TIME for Friends!
1/28/14
TIME for Friends!
Since coming to First Pres almost two years ago, my favorite stories from women are intriguing tales about this-or-that done together as friends decades; some even nearly a half-century ago. These stories speak to me of faithfulness in friendship, of unconditional acceptance and of roots of love that have grown very, very deep over time.
I especially love the stories of funny things you’ve done together—like the time Nancy Turner enticed Gene Ann Grant and others (who profess not to sing a lick) to sing in the choir at a Katherine Kuhlman conference, so they could see up close if healings and miracles were “for real.” (Wow! I wish I could have been right there singing and seeing with you! )
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There are stories of your kiddos growing up together, with Alberta heading up Sunday school; Stories of how you saved each other’s skin and stuck together through thick and thin! You are not just fair-weather friends, but rather you have weathered all kinds of storms in your lives together.
I really love hearing your stories – they bless my heart at such a deep level! They bless me because these loyal, lasting friendships are both very rich and quite rare! (Friendships rarely survive “judgmentalism.”)
Good friendships not only grow over time, they grow by “making time.” I have a good friend who taught me this lesson a number of years ago!
Being a rather “task-oriented” person, I largely garner my own self-worth by getting things accomplished; the more things I get done the better I feel about little-old-me! Today, I laugh when I happen to run across one of my old calendars from years ago. Each day had a “to-do” list a mile-long, with every line checked off or crossed out—meaning “done” or “accomplished” and “move to the next item please . . .” Even “fun” was a “to-do” and typically I was in a rush to get that “done,” “accomplished” and crossed off, too!
Flashback: It was a Monday . . . housecleaning, laundry and ironing day . . . always a bear-of-a-day . . . grueling, the busiest day of my week. The doorbell rang! Sweaty, dressed in ragged jeans (which were not cool in 1984), with dust rag in hand, I answered my front door. There she stood, a girl I had known from church, clean and not sweaty, dressed in great contrast to me!
Trying desperately to gain my composure, because I felt so embarrassed about how I looked, I invited her into the house, poured her a glass of Coke, offered her a seat on the couch, then sat down across from her in my 1970’s era bent-wood rocker—legs crossed at the knee trying to hide the blown-out knee of my jeans.
I cannot even remember what we chatted about, but as she rose to leave she said, “Daughter has piano lessons every Monday at this time, so I’ll just stop by so we can visit. There’s no need to drive all the way home; I’d just have to turn right around and drive all the way back!” (I am not exaggerating. At the most, it would have been 200 yards to her driveway from mine!)
Still feeling quite humiliated about my appearance on that curious day, I added her visit to my future Monday “to-do” lists, pushing my schedule for the day a little forward, so I could at least have time to comb through my hair before she came. And, I threw away the ragged jeans!
Like clockwork, my new friend rang my doorbell each and every Monday. It felt so good to sit down and just talk! And I grew to like her very much.
Being not one iota deterred, she responded curtly, “Of course you do! You have to get all your work done before noon. Then you pack your kids a lunch to eat at the pool. We leave the pool at 4:30 in the afternoon, which gives us plenty of time to get dinner on the table for our husbands!” Simple as that!
That is the summer I learned that a good friendship takes the investment of time. Our kids became good friends that summer, too! That dear one taught me much of what I know about friendship.
From that summer forward, every day I could expect her brief phone call. “What’cha doin’ today?” “Okay, well, I’ve got to . . . .”
Brief was good. Back in those days the phone was still connected to the wall, and you had to answer it if you were to actually know who was calling. The phone cord was like a leash that would let you go only so far . . . like to the sink or stove, but you were sunk if you needed something from the fridge. Occasionally, we would talk longer when something was important.
We coached baseball together, did church and PTA, taught VBS and that sort of thing. Every Friday we made some plan to hang out together.
I recall we had an idea that I would teach her to sew on Fridays. Another girl who as my Girl Scout co-leader decided she wanted to learn to sew, too. The three of us filled our closets with those homemade funky tee-shirt dresses from the 1980’s! Then we moved onto decorating sweatshirts with strips of fleece ruffled and sown on the shoulders (of course we added shoulder pads, too.) We used a boatload of puff paint for a modern-art effect. It was great fun, and we probably could have gone into business together!
Our husbands all became friends through coaching Little League, dinner club, and the best adventure of all—Daisy “Dad and Me Camp”—an overnight at the infamous Girls Scout Pitcher-Pump Ranch!
More than 30 years later, they still laugh and scoff at the father of a girl from another troop who shook the rafters of their cabin with his snoring. Frustrated to no end, one of the dads left the camp and went to Albertsons (Amarillo’s only all-night grocery store at that time), purchasing an array of snacks and drinks. If they had to be awake all night, they should at least have something to eat and drink!
Finally, we decided that we all had too many tee-shirt dresses and sweatshirts with shoulder pads, and we began to just hang out on Fridays and visit. Well, our talk became rather “idle” or should I say, “gossipy,” so Girl Scout friend recommended a remedy; “Let’s all make quilts!”
“Oh-h-h-h!!! No-o-o-o-o!!!!” What an overwhelming project!! Much more complicated than shirring a couple of yards of fabric to the bottom of a tee-shirt and installing shoulder pads!
The very next Friday she showed up saying, “Okay, girls, I’ve got us signed up for the log-cabin with geese quilt class! We need to buy fabric.” Off to Cloth World we went, and our friendships became rock-solid for years . . .
. . . Until piano lesson friend’s husband got a wonderful opportunity in another state and off they moved! Girl Scout friend, herself, got a wonderful opportunity about the same time – a job!
Separated by busy schedules, pressing demands and several hundred miles, our friendships began to wither day-by-day, month-by-month and year-by-year. While love for my dear friends still remained in my heart, I was left with one thing—plenty of time!
Time filled with only “to-do’s” felt lonely. I drove myself to League meetings, and dropped my teens off at the pool. Then I prayed, asking God for new friends of the heart!
Several months later, a good friend from the League invited me to a new Bible study that was just starting up called “BSF.” (What a funny name, I thought!) I had felt God calling me to dig deeper into His Word, so I quickly accepted her invitation. She decided not to join the class after all, but I knew God was directing me to Bible Study Fellowship!
This was my first experience at First Presbyterian! I was truly amazed at the beauty of the chapel where the pilot program for BSF began. I found it difficult to concentrate on what was being said, because my eyes were feasting on the exquisite woodwork and masterful architecture of the tiny tabernacle. For the next five years of anointed Bible studies of Miss Johnson, concentration problems continued to haunt me. When we moved into the Sanctuary, my focus became Jesus reaching out to me from the stained glass focal point! I often found myself praying, “Lord, would you please let my children be married in this church?”(This prayer would require a miracle, since at that time weddings were the privilege of members only!)
That first year of BSF was quite a challenge for some of us, especially for those in Christy’s small group. Christy was from another state and she knew nothing— absolutely nothing— about Southern gentility, or Amarillo friendliness! ”Guidelines” to her were instruments of torment with which to inspire trembling among her frightened spiritual novices! We (Dena Jenkins, Jeri Gossett and I) survived the year by huddling together for security! We quickly became friends in solidarity.
Poor Christy moved back to her home state, and hopefully to happier times the following year, and our beloved Jeri became our fearless small group leader!What a fun time we had with Jeri at the helm!!! Buds of friendship were nurtured week-to-week! Every single day, I rejoiced because God had heard my prayer and filled my life and my time with TWO heart-friends – Jeri and Dena!
We shared prayer requests. Jeri was desperate to have a baby girl after having two darling little boys—Brant and Hunter. So Dena and I faithfully prayed—very fervently! By that time, Jeri had moved onto our street—Dena’s and mine—so now we were all neighbors as well as friends!
I remember a Thursday afternoon, and we had agreed to meet at Roaster’s, the new coffee phenomenon in town! Dena and I were waiting, sipping our lattes outside at one of the sidewalk tables when Jeri sat down, pulling a long strip of sonogram pictures out of her purse.
Crying aloud, she said, “There were three heartbeats! What am I going to do?”
Dena and I sat there with our mouths dropped open, totally speechless! And I mean, speechless!!! Finally Dena, tender heart that she is, found courage to whisper, “Jeri, we will be there to help you!”
“Oh, sure,” Jeri blubbered, “I’ll just call you in the middle of the night so you can help me feed them!” Dena and I just sat there, looking sympathetic.
“Well, maybe one of them will be a girl.” Dena and I remarked to each other, not daring to look at Jeri. (There was more blubbering from Jeri.)
“Well . . . we will host a diaper shower for you!” Those words seemed to bring Jeri a little bit of much-needed comfort.
A few months later, Jeri brought home three very tiny, but healthy babies—2 girls and one boy—all connected to heart monitors that would make a loud noise that would raise the dead when the accidentally disconnected from a tiny chest!
As faithfully as we had prayed, we faithfully showed up on Jeri’s porch at 9 o’clock every Thursday evening to help Jeri change tiny diapies, and feed tiny babies! Once these precious ones were tucked into bed, monitors secured, and fast asleep, we three friends made ourselves cups of decaf International coffees in our favorite “Toot and Totum” thermal coffee mugs; then sat down for hours of “girl talk.” Our friendships were fun, fulfilling and cherished!
But then, our friendship took a turn . . . we went deeper!
Oh my goodness! It still blows me away!!! In sharing our prayer requests each week, we opened our deep desires and the deep recesses of our hearts to each other! Hidden things! Precious things!
Today, I consider these two precious friends of mine some of the greatest treasures God could have ever bestowed on anyone! With purest love and without judgment, they have walked beside me through my life’s greatest joys and my most severe trials. Their friendship has changed me and healed me in so many ways. Jeri and Dena always inspire me to be a better person through their examples and attitudes and by the Godly lives they lead!
I hope that if you wrote out your friendship stories, they would real a lot like mine! I encourage you to go deeper in friendship through Bible study and sharing your hearts in prayer! (May you be like a vault, faithfully keeping each other’s precious heart-secrets!)
If your heart feels a stab of loneliness right now, ask God for the gift of a friend who will become your beloved sister-in-Christ. (Perhaps you will find courage to go out on a seemingly precarious limb, and pursue a friendship with someone you admire from afar. Proceed slowly. Remember, friendships take time!) I believe God will be more than faithful to hear and answer your heart’s cry!
But get ready to sacrifice a very precious commodity—your time!!!
The Value of a Friend - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.
For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.
Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.
And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
---
1/6/14
A Challenge for 2014
Years ago the following “hearsay” had a very profound effect on my life:
“In the 1970’s (it may have been in the 1980’s or even
the 1960’s), there was a survey of Harvard (or perhaps
Yale or Stanford) graduates who became millionaires
(today, they would most likely be billionaires.)
They were surveyed to find common-denominators of
their success. It was not gender, nor intelligence quotient, nor pleasing appearance, nor talent. It was not
background—economic or social. It was not personality traits, moral character, management style, nor type of
investment or business endeavor. The survey was
lengthy, broad and detailed.
Of all the millionaires questioned, there was only one
thing they all had in common: Each of the millionaires
took the time to “write out” their goals!”
Today a “goal” is often described as an outcome that can be achieved in measurable, defined steps.
In my opinion, it is much more than that! I believe it has to do with the innate power of the written or spoken “word.”
When a desire or a dream remains only in the heart,
it lies dormant.
When the desire or dream is articulated into words (written or spoken) they are endued with mysterious, spiritual power! Perhaps those desires of the heart, coming to life as spoken or written words, become eternal hope or faith as they align with the will of God!
God created our world and every single thing in it by His spoken word. He both warns and encourages:
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
Proverbs 18:21
We also create our own world through speaking words of kindness or cruelty, praise or disparagement, giving honor to another or spreading idle gossip?
Jesus cannot be clearer when he says:
A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things. But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the Day of Judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
Matthew 12:35-37
Jesus also speaks of the purifying power of His word with which He faithfully, gently cleanses the church, His bride, saying:
“…that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.”
Ephesians 5:26-27
Jesus was the Word made flesh who dwelt among us!
To me, this is one of the most mysterious concepts concerning the very word “Word”! Who can fully understand the meaning of “Word” or completely grasp the “Word’s” significance? It is baffling, yet immensely powerful!
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.
John 1:1-5, 14
It seems to me that the enormous power given to words for good or evil is one of the Spiritual Laws of the Universe - just as the laws of gravity and aerodynamics are powerful physical laws of our earth!
So back to the goal story:
After hearing the Harvard millionaire story about writing out goals, I began to write out my goals each year using five categories:
· Spiritual (i.e. reading through the Bible; being more receptive to God’s love; forming the habit of calling on the Holy Spirit to help with issues of obedience; or any other quest for God imbedded in my spirit…)
· Physical (i.e. exercise plan; healthy eating plan; a certain mountain hike, etc.)
· Mental (like reading all the works of a certain author; developing a new skill; continuing education; a plan to be more organized, etc.)
· Financial (give x, earn x, spend x, save x, retire x indebtedness; acquire new job or solicit new business, etc.)
· Personal (This includes emotional goals, family and relational goals, blessings for my children, travel, and every category of hopes and dreams. This is where I let my heart run wild!)
As I have “matured,” I have also added a category for lifetime goals, which includes things I hope to accomplish when I am not quite so busy day-to-day.
Allow me to share with you an example of how my goal-writing system has worked in my life during the past year.
(I must say, I am still amazed by this!):
A year-and-a-half ago when I took the job as Director of Women’s Ministry, one of the first tasks I was given was to write out a set of job-related and personal goals.
Since I had only a short amount of time in which to complete the task, I quickly jotted down some “expected” things. But at the very last second, I also wrote down two of my “heart’s desires,” knowing full-well they were both categorized as “impossible dreams.”
- I wrote a Job-related Goal: I’d like for First Pres to host a Citywide Women’s Conference.
"Strong Women, Soft Hearts" event chairperson Ali Tiegs and 29 women from the host churches served as a steering committee.
- Going even further out on the limb (which I felt was almost sure to break!), I wrote a Personal Goal: I’d really like to make new draperies for my den. (There is a story I can tell you about why I thought it might be impossible...)
God did the impossible!
There were no defined, measureable steps to achieving either success.
It was God, and God alone, who moved people, circumstances and provision into place so I might achieve my heart’s desires!
For a decade or more, my husband, Ruben and I met with a group of friends on New Year’s Eve to celebrate of the old year and welcome the New Year. After dinner and delightful conversation, we’d pass around sheets of blank paper and envelopes for the yearly ritual of writing out our goals for the coming year; then we’d pray, submitting our lives, our hopes and our dreams to our Father in heaven.
But before we wrote our goals for the coming year, the host would pass around the sealed envelopes from the previous year. From each person around the table, there would either be amazed celebration or tears of disappointment as they read what they written a year earlier.
I must admit that for many of those years, I was the one blinking back tears. Many of my goals continued to be unrealized. With a huge lump in my throat, I would ask God what I should write out for the coming year.
Each time His response would be the question,
“Have your heart’s desires changed?”
“No!” was my answer.
His response was, “So, write the same thing!”
Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
Amazingly, year by year, God has accomplished the goals I have written; He has given me my heart’s desires in measures and ways I never could have imagined!
This new year, I invite you to join me in this challenge! Seek God concerning 2014!
What does He want to accomplish in your life and through your life this year?
Certainly, some of your goals can be achieved through defined, measurable steps of self-discipline (AKA one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit - self-control!)
But maybe like me, many of the deepest desires of your heart are in reality “impossible dreams” apart from God’s miraculous hand in them!
Just remember - We serve a God for which nothing is impossible! It is His desire to reveal His love for you in a very personal way.
So I challenge you: Give your goals and your heart’s desires the power of a written or spoken word, as you take great delight in loving our God and Father!
The Lord bless you and keep you! The Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you! The Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace in 2014!
Love you,
Sherrie
---
12/20/13
Christmas Prayers (a grown-up Christmas list)
Christmas, for me, is a time of looking back at milestones and memories with a heart of gratefulness.
It seems like an annual ritual that starts as I put up my Christmas tree. Each ornament evokes remembrances, feelings of love for family and friends, and worship of God!
A collection of Noah’s ark trinkets makes me thankful for one of my long-time heart-friends! Three cloisonné bells cause me to say a prayer for my beloved sister-in-law.
There are bobbles from my children’s growing years that arouse feelings of intense happiness--like the Three Stooges ornaments from the period when my youngest son constantly watched stooge reruns on Nickelodeon and did the Curly “nik-nik-nik” imitation perfectly (he drove us all crazy!)
A paper boy made from wood was given to my twelve-year-old eldest son when he was earning money for a trip to New York City working as a paper carrier for Globe News (now, there was one low-paying, difficult job!)
The wooden spoon-angel ornament my daughter made as a Girl Scouts began as a puppet for a puppet show. It was performed for the needy children of Faith City Mission.
Others are inexpensive souvenirs from family vacations or mission trips reminding me of some truly happy seasons of life.
My most favorite of all our ornaments are the now-faded construction paper chains and paper plate angels with big round eyes, which were proudly crafted by my children’s tiny hands!
This year as I hung the collection of silver bells engraved with my youngest son’s name, I thought of the blessing of my newest daughter-in-law. I realized this would probably be a good year to entrust these treasures into her care!
After giving thanks, my heart immediately begins to ask for things from our loving Father—a rather “grown-up” Christmas list, if you will . . .
- This year my heart is especially burdened for those who have lost someone, and this will be the first Christmas without their beloved. (Usually I know of at least one family; this year I know of several going through such a painful grief for the first time.) God’s Spirit often prompts me to pray for their broken hearts.
He heals the broken hearted
I continue to cry-out for my valiant-warrior girlfriend who has bravely battled a terminal cancer! For years she has won her battle! This year she has had to fight with a renewed vengeance, undergoing treatments that leave her body weakened. They threaten to weaken her spirit as well, but I am telling you, this girl is a fighter!!! (And for good reason—she has young ones who still need her guidance and comfort. Her husband adores her, and she makes his life complete!)
- “Lord, our Healer, You have added years to my friend’s life. Would you please add more years of health and wholeness?”
Is anything too hard for the Lord?
Genesis 18:14
- “Lord, nothing is too hard for You! Nothing is too difficult!”
Yesterday morning while I was still in my pajamas, a friend from another state called me. I was so happy to see her name flash across my phone screen! She and I have walked together though each other’s most traumatic and pain-filled times of life. Our hearts are forever connected by love and tragedy.
Typically we talk only two or three times each year; but when we do talk it’s for at least two hours--catching up on our children, husbands and all matters of the heart! So I poured myself another cup of coffee and got comfortable!
A few years ago this dear friend, deceived by Satan, fell into a trap that destroyed her marriage and damaged her family.
Our many honest, and often blunt, conversations did not convince her that it would be a mistake to continue down this crazy path.
Today she speaks openly about her desire to retrace her steps and get back on the path she began in her youth, with her family and with God.
Countless decisions and the passing of time, make that wish an impossibility; but forgiveness and redemption can bring healing and restoration.
- “This year, Father, help my friend forgive herself. She has a beautiful wedding ring from her new husband, but she needs the ring given to the prodigal that will constantly remind her that Your love never fails. She needs sandals on her feet that will enable her to walk securely and confidently on the path of righteousness that You lay out for her. And Father, instead of that worn-out cloak of shame and regret, would you give her your finest robe—the one that Christ died to give us all?”
Restore to her the joy of Your salvation,
Late yesterday, when I finally made it to the grocery store to buy food for our Christmas celebrations, a new cashier (a man I’d never seen before) checked my groceries.
As he scanned my roast and ham, decorations for gingerbread cookies, fixings for pies, cartons of cream and a whole basket-load of other extravagances, he asked me about my holiday plans.
I answered his questions, sharing details of my children, grandchildren and sisters coming for a visit! In return, I asked him about his happy plans for the holiday.
I was not prepared for his rejoinder. “Christmas is just like any other day for me,” he said trying desperately to hide his disappointment at being alone on such a day.
No! No! No! Jesus’ birthday is NOT like any other day! Whether it is miles or mistakes that separate him from his family and friends on Christmas day, nothing can separate him from Jesus’ love!
- May he never, ever feel truly alone again! Jesus, thank you for every extravagant promise that Christmas brings—love, comfort and joy, peace on earth and goodwill toward men, eternal life, redemption from every curse, and blessings of every sort! Dear Jesus, stand at the door of his heart, and knock.May he hear Your voice and open the door. Come in and dine with him and he with You (as You promised!)
Behold, I stand at the door and knock.
If anyone hears my voice and opens the door,
I will come in to him and eat with him,
and he with me.
Revelation 3:20
My heart joins the hearts of my sisters reading this
post in saying, Happy Birthday! We love You!
Please, please, please come quickly!!!
Since coming to First Pres almost two years ago, my favorite stories from women are intriguing tales about this-or-that done together as friends decades; some even nearly a half-century ago. These stories speak to me of faithfulness in friendship, of unconditional acceptance and of roots of love that have grown very, very deep over time.
I especially love the stories of funny things you’ve done together—like the time Nancy Turner enticed Gene Ann Grant and others (who profess not to sing a lick) to sing in the choir at a Katherine Kuhlman conference, so they could see up close if healings and miracles were “for real.” (Wow! I wish I could have been right there singing and seeing with you! )
There are stories of your kiddos growing up together, with Alberta heading up Sunday school; Stories of how you saved each other’s skin and stuck together through thick and thin! You are not just fair-weather friends, but rather you have weathered all kinds of storms in your lives together.
I really love hearing your stories – they bless my heart at such a deep level! They bless me because these loyal, lasting friendships are both very rich and quite rare! (Friendships rarely survive “judgmentalism.”)
Good friendships not only grow over time, they grow by “making time.” I have a good friend who taught me this lesson a number of years ago!
Being a rather “task-oriented” person, I largely garner my own self-worth by getting things accomplished; the more things I get done the better I feel about little-old-me! Today, I laugh when I happen to run across one of my old calendars from years ago. Each day had a “to-do” list a mile-long, with every line checked off or crossed out—meaning “done” or “accomplished” and “move to the next item please . . .” Even “fun” was a “to-do” and typically I was in a rush to get that “done,” “accomplished” and crossed off, too!
Flashback: It was a Monday . . . housecleaning, laundry and ironing day . . . always a bear-of-a-day . . . grueling, the busiest day of my week. The doorbell rang! Sweaty, dressed in ragged jeans (which were not cool in 1984), with dust rag in hand, I answered my front door. There she stood, a girl I had known from church, clean and not sweaty, dressed in great contrast to me!
“I am here,” she announced, “because my daughter is at her piano lesson next door, and I did not want to drive all the way home.” (Home was a whole block-and-a-half away!)
Trying desperately to gain my composure, because I felt so embarrassed about how I looked, I invited her into the house, poured her a glass of Coke, offered her a seat on the couch, then sat down across from her in my 1970’s era bent-wood rocker—legs crossed at the knee trying to hide the blown-out knee of my jeans.
I cannot even remember what we chatted about, but as she rose to leave she said, “Daughter has piano lessons every Monday at this time, so I’ll just stop by so we can visit. There’s no need to drive all the way home; I’d just have to turn right around and drive all the way back!” (I am not exaggerating. At the most, it would have been 200 yards to her driveway from mine!)
Still feeling quite humiliated about my appearance on that curious day, I added her visit to my future Monday “to-do” lists, pushing my schedule for the day a little forward, so I could at least have time to comb through my hair before she came. And, I threw away the ragged jeans!
Like clockwork, my new friend rang my doorbell each and every Monday. It felt so good to sit down and just talk! And I grew to like her very much.
When spring came, she informed me of our plan for summer; “Ok, so you need to join the Town Club, and we’ll take our kids swimming every day!”
Now that is where I tried to draw the line! “Oh! No!” I said. “I have way-y-y-y-y too much work to get done! I simply do not have time to take my kids swimming every day!”
Being not one iota deterred, she responded curtly, “Of course you do! You have to get all your work done before noon. Then you pack your kids a lunch to eat at the pool. We leave the pool at 4:30 in the afternoon, which gives us plenty of time to get dinner on the table for our husbands!” Simple as that!
And, really it was just that simple. (Though I did have to shorten my “to-do” list by half.)
That is the summer I learned that a good friendship takes the investment of time. Our kids became good friends that summer, too! That dear one taught me much of what I know about friendship.
From that summer forward, every day I could expect her brief phone call. “What’cha doin’ today?” “Okay, well, I’ve got to . . . .”
Brief was good. Back in those days the phone was still connected to the wall, and you had to answer it if you were to actually know who was calling. The phone cord was like a leash that would let you go only so far . . . like to the sink or stove, but you were sunk if you needed something from the fridge. Occasionally, we would talk longer when something was important.
We coached baseball together, did church and PTA, taught VBS and that sort of thing. Every Friday we made some plan to hang out together.
I recall we had an idea that I would teach her to sew on Fridays. Another girl who as my Girl Scout co-leader decided she wanted to learn to sew, too. The three of us filled our closets with those homemade funky tee-shirt dresses from the 1980’s! Then we moved onto decorating sweatshirts with strips of fleece ruffled and sown on the shoulders (of course we added shoulder pads, too.) We used a boatload of puff paint for a modern-art effect. It was great fun, and we probably could have gone into business together!
Our husbands all became friends through coaching Little League, dinner club, and the best adventure of all—Daisy “Dad and Me Camp”—an overnight at the infamous Girls Scout Pitcher-Pump Ranch!
More than 30 years later, they still laugh and scoff at the father of a girl from another troop who shook the rafters of their cabin with his snoring. Frustrated to no end, one of the dads left the camp and went to Albertsons (Amarillo’s only all-night grocery store at that time), purchasing an array of snacks and drinks. If they had to be awake all night, they should at least have something to eat and drink!
Finally, we decided that we all had too many tee-shirt dresses and sweatshirts with shoulder pads, and we began to just hang out on Fridays and visit. Well, our talk became rather “idle” or should I say, “gossipy,” so Girl Scout friend recommended a remedy; “Let’s all make quilts!”
“Oh-h-h-h!!! No-o-o-o-o!!!!” What an overwhelming project!! Much more complicated than shirring a couple of yards of fabric to the bottom of a tee-shirt and installing shoulder pads!
The very next Friday she showed up saying, “Okay, girls, I’ve got us signed up for the log-cabin with geese quilt class! We need to buy fabric.” Off to Cloth World we went, and our friendships became rock-solid for years . . .
. . . Until piano lesson friend’s husband got a wonderful opportunity in another state and off they moved! Girl Scout friend, herself, got a wonderful opportunity about the same time – a job!
Separated by busy schedules, pressing demands and several hundred miles, our friendships began to wither day-by-day, month-by-month and year-by-year. While love for my dear friends still remained in my heart, I was left with one thing—plenty of time!
Time filled with only “to-do’s” felt lonely. I drove myself to League meetings, and dropped my teens off at the pool. Then I prayed, asking God for new friends of the heart!
Several months later, a good friend from the League invited me to a new Bible study that was just starting up called “BSF.” (What a funny name, I thought!) I had felt God calling me to dig deeper into His Word, so I quickly accepted her invitation. She decided not to join the class after all, but I knew God was directing me to Bible Study Fellowship!
This was my first experience at First Presbyterian! I was truly amazed at the beauty of the chapel where the pilot program for BSF began. I found it difficult to concentrate on what was being said, because my eyes were feasting on the exquisite woodwork and masterful architecture of the tiny tabernacle. For the next five years of anointed Bible studies of Miss Johnson, concentration problems continued to haunt me. When we moved into the Sanctuary, my focus became Jesus reaching out to me from the stained glass focal point! I often found myself praying, “Lord, would you please let my children be married in this church?”(This prayer would require a miracle, since at that time weddings were the privilege of members only!)
That first year of BSF was quite a challenge for some of us, especially for those in Christy’s small group. Christy was from another state and she knew nothing— absolutely nothing— about Southern gentility, or Amarillo friendliness! ”Guidelines” to her were instruments of torment with which to inspire trembling among her frightened spiritual novices! We (Dena Jenkins, Jeri Gossett and I) survived the year by huddling together for security! We quickly became friends in solidarity.
Poor Christy moved back to her home state, and hopefully to happier times the following year, and our beloved Jeri became our fearless small group leader!What a fun time we had with Jeri at the helm!!! Buds of friendship were nurtured week-to-week! Every single day, I rejoiced because God had heard my prayer and filled my life and my time with TWO heart-friends – Jeri and Dena!
We shared prayer requests. Jeri was desperate to have a baby girl after having two darling little boys—Brant and Hunter. So Dena and I faithfully prayed—very fervently! By that time, Jeri had moved onto our street—Dena’s and mine—so now we were all neighbors as well as friends!
I remember a Thursday afternoon, and we had agreed to meet at Roaster’s, the new coffee phenomenon in town! Dena and I were waiting, sipping our lattes outside at one of the sidewalk tables when Jeri sat down, pulling a long strip of sonogram pictures out of her purse.
Crying aloud, she said, “There were three heartbeats! What am I going to do?”
Dena and I sat there with our mouths dropped open, totally speechless! And I mean, speechless!!! Finally Dena, tender heart that she is, found courage to whisper, “Jeri, we will be there to help you!”
“Oh, sure,” Jeri blubbered, “I’ll just call you in the middle of the night so you can help me feed them!” Dena and I just sat there, looking sympathetic.
“Well, maybe one of them will be a girl.” Dena and I remarked to each other, not daring to look at Jeri. (There was more blubbering from Jeri.)
“Well . . . we will host a diaper shower for you!” Those words seemed to bring Jeri a little bit of much-needed comfort.
A few months later, Jeri brought home three very tiny, but healthy babies—2 girls and one boy—all connected to heart monitors that would make a loud noise that would raise the dead when the accidentally disconnected from a tiny chest!
As faithfully as we had prayed, we faithfully showed up on Jeri’s porch at 9 o’clock every Thursday evening to help Jeri change tiny diapies, and feed tiny babies! Once these precious ones were tucked into bed, monitors secured, and fast asleep, we three friends made ourselves cups of decaf International coffees in our favorite “Toot and Totum” thermal coffee mugs; then sat down for hours of “girl talk.” Our friendships were fun, fulfilling and cherished!
But then, our friendship took a turn . . . we went deeper!
Dena asked, “Hey, girls, why don’t we all share our prayer requests, and then spend time praying aloud for each other?”
Oh my goodness! It still blows me away!!! In sharing our prayer requests each week, we opened our deep desires and the deep recesses of our hearts to each other! Hidden things! Precious things!
Then as we listened to each one pray for the other, sincerely asking God for His best blessings for our friend, our love and respect for each other grew exponentially.
Today, I consider these two precious friends of mine some of the greatest treasures God could have ever bestowed on anyone! With purest love and without judgment, they have walked beside me through my life’s greatest joys and my most severe trials. Their friendship has changed me and healed me in so many ways. Jeri and Dena always inspire me to be a better person through their examples and attitudes and by the Godly lives they lead!
We are a triad! “A cord of three-strands, not quickly torn apart!”
I hope that if you wrote out your friendship stories, they would real a lot like mine! I encourage you to go deeper in friendship through Bible study and sharing your hearts in prayer! (May you be like a vault, faithfully keeping each other’s precious heart-secrets!)
If your heart feels a stab of loneliness right now, ask God for the gift of a friend who will become your beloved sister-in-Christ. (Perhaps you will find courage to go out on a seemingly precarious limb, and pursue a friendship with someone you admire from afar. Proceed slowly. Remember, friendships take time!) I believe God will be more than faithful to hear and answer your heart’s cry!
But get ready to sacrifice a very precious commodity—your time!!!
The Value of a Friend - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.
For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.
Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.
And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
---
1/6/14
A Challenge for 2014
Years ago the following “hearsay” had a very profound effect on my life:
“In the 1970’s (it may have been in the 1980’s or even
the 1960’s), there was a survey of Harvard (or perhaps
Yale or Stanford) graduates who became millionaires
(today, they would most likely be billionaires.)
They were surveyed to find common-denominators of
their success. It was not gender, nor intelligence quotient, nor pleasing appearance, nor talent. It was not
background—economic or social. It was not personality traits, moral character, management style, nor type of
investment or business endeavor. The survey was
lengthy, broad and detailed.
Of all the millionaires questioned, there was only one
thing they all had in common: Each of the millionaires
took the time to “write out” their goals!”
Today a “goal” is often described as an outcome that can be achieved in measurable, defined steps.
In my opinion, it is much more than that! I believe it has to do with the innate power of the written or spoken “word.”
When a desire or a dream remains only in the heart,
it lies dormant.
When the desire or dream is articulated into words (written or spoken) they are endued with mysterious, spiritual power! Perhaps those desires of the heart, coming to life as spoken or written words, become eternal hope or faith as they align with the will of God!
God created our world and every single thing in it by His spoken word. He both warns and encourages:
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
Proverbs 18:21
We also create our own world through speaking words of kindness or cruelty, praise or disparagement, giving honor to another or spreading idle gossip?
Jesus cannot be clearer when he says:
A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things. But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the Day of Judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
Matthew 12:35-37
Jesus also speaks of the purifying power of His word with which He faithfully, gently cleanses the church, His bride, saying:
“…that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.”
Jesus also speaks of the purifying power of His word with which He faithfully, gently cleanses the church, His bride, saying:
“…that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.”
Ephesians 5:26-27
Jesus was the Word made flesh who dwelt among us!
To me, this is one of the most mysterious concepts concerning the very word “Word”! Who can fully understand the meaning of “Word” or completely grasp the “Word’s” significance? It is baffling, yet immensely powerful!
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.
Jesus was the Word made flesh who dwelt among us!
To me, this is one of the most mysterious concepts concerning the very word “Word”! Who can fully understand the meaning of “Word” or completely grasp the “Word’s” significance? It is baffling, yet immensely powerful!
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.
John 1:1-5, 14
It seems to me that the enormous power given to words for good or evil is one of the Spiritual Laws of the Universe - just as the laws of gravity and aerodynamics are powerful physical laws of our earth!
So back to the goal story:
After hearing the Harvard millionaire story about writing out goals, I began to write out my goals each year using five categories:
· Spiritual (i.e. reading through the Bible; being more receptive to God’s love; forming the habit of calling on the Holy Spirit to help with issues of obedience; or any other quest for God imbedded in my spirit…)
· Physical (i.e. exercise plan; healthy eating plan; a certain mountain hike, etc.)
· Mental (like reading all the works of a certain author; developing a new skill; continuing education; a plan to be more organized, etc.)
· Financial (give x, earn x, spend x, save x, retire x indebtedness; acquire new job or solicit new business, etc.)
· Personal (This includes emotional goals, family and relational goals, blessings for my children, travel, and every category of hopes and dreams. This is where I let my heart run wild!)
As I have “matured,” I have also added a category for lifetime goals, which includes things I hope to accomplish when I am not quite so busy day-to-day.
Allow me to share with you an example of how my goal-writing system has worked in my life during the past year.
(I must say, I am still amazed by this!):
A year-and-a-half ago when I took the job as Director of Women’s Ministry, one of the first tasks I was given was to write out a set of job-related and personal goals.
Since I had only a short amount of time in which to complete the task, I quickly jotted down some “expected” things. But at the very last second, I also wrote down two of my “heart’s desires,” knowing full-well they were both categorized as “impossible dreams.”
- I wrote a Job-related Goal: I’d like for First Pres to host a Citywide Women’s Conference.
"Strong Women, Soft Hearts" event chairperson Ali Tiegs and 29 women from the host churches served as a steering committee.
- Going even further out on the limb (which I felt was almost sure to break!), I wrote a Personal Goal: I’d really like to make new draperies for my den. (There is a story I can tell you about why I thought it might be impossible...)
God did the impossible!
There were no defined, measureable steps to achieving either success.
It was God, and God alone, who moved people, circumstances and provision into place so I might achieve my heart’s desires!
For a decade or more, my husband, Ruben and I met with a group of friends on New Year’s Eve to celebrate of the old year and welcome the New Year. After dinner and delightful conversation, we’d pass around sheets of blank paper and envelopes for the yearly ritual of writing out our goals for the coming year; then we’d pray, submitting our lives, our hopes and our dreams to our Father in heaven.
But before we wrote our goals for the coming year, the host would pass around the sealed envelopes from the previous year. From each person around the table, there would either be amazed celebration or tears of disappointment as they read what they written a year earlier.
I must admit that for many of those years, I was the one blinking back tears. Many of my goals continued to be unrealized. With a huge lump in my throat, I would ask God what I should write out for the coming year.
Each time His response would be the question,
“Have your heart’s desires changed?”
“No!” was my answer.
His response was, “So, write the same thing!”
“No!” was my answer.
His response was, “So, write the same thing!”
Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
Amazingly, year by year, God has accomplished the goals I have written; He has given me my heart’s desires in measures and ways I never could have imagined!
This new year, I invite you to join me in this challenge! Seek God concerning 2014!
What does He want to accomplish in your life and through your life this year?
Certainly, some of your goals can be achieved through defined, measurable steps of self-discipline (AKA one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit - self-control!)
What does He want to accomplish in your life and through your life this year?
Certainly, some of your goals can be achieved through defined, measurable steps of self-discipline (AKA one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit - self-control!)
But maybe like me, many of the deepest desires of your heart are in reality “impossible dreams” apart from God’s miraculous hand in them!
Just remember - We serve a God for which nothing is impossible! It is His desire to reveal His love for you in a very personal way.
So I challenge you: Give your goals and your heart’s desires the power of a written or spoken word, as you take great delight in loving our God and Father!
The Lord bless you and keep you! The Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you! The Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace in 2014!
Love you,
Sherrie
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12/20/13
Christmas Prayers (a grown-up Christmas list)
Christmas, for me, is a time of looking back at milestones and memories with a heart of gratefulness.
He heals the broken hearted
And He binds up their wounds.
Psalm 147:3
I continue to cry-out for my valiant-warrior girlfriend who has bravely battled a terminal cancer! For years she has won her battle! This year she has had to fight with a renewed vengeance, undergoing treatments that leave her body weakened. They threaten to weaken her spirit as well, but I am telling you, this girl is a fighter!!! (And for good reason—she has young ones who still need her guidance and comfort. Her husband adores her, and she makes his life complete!)
- “Lord, our Healer, You have added years to my friend’s life. Would you please add more years of health and wholeness?”
Is anything too hard for the Lord?
Genesis 18:14
Genesis 18:14
- “Lord, nothing is too hard for You! Nothing is too difficult!”
Typically we talk only two or three times each year; but when we do talk it’s for at least two hours--catching up on our children, husbands and all matters of the heart! So I poured myself another cup of coffee and got comfortable!
A few years ago this dear friend, deceived by Satan, fell into a trap that destroyed her marriage and damaged her family.
Our many honest, and often blunt, conversations did not convince her that it would be a mistake to continue down this crazy path.
Today she speaks openly about her desire to retrace her steps and get back on the path she began in her youth, with her family and with God.
Countless decisions and the passing of time, make that wish an impossibility; but forgiveness and redemption can bring healing and restoration.
- “This year, Father, help my friend forgive herself. She has a beautiful wedding ring from her new husband, but she needs the ring given to the prodigal that will constantly remind her that Your love never fails. She needs sandals on her feet that will enable her to walk securely and confidently on the path of righteousness that You lay out for her. And Father, instead of that worn-out cloak of shame and regret, would you give her your finest robe—the one that Christ died to give us all?”
Restore to her the joy of Your salvation,
And uphold her by the joy of Your generous Spirit.
Then she will teach transgressors Your ways,
And sinners shall be converted to You.
Psalm 51:12-13
Late yesterday, when I finally made it to the grocery store to buy food for our Christmas celebrations, a new cashier (a man I’d never seen before) checked my groceries.
As he scanned my roast and ham, decorations for gingerbread cookies, fixings for pies, cartons of cream and a whole basket-load of other extravagances, he asked me about my holiday plans.
I answered his questions, sharing details of my children, grandchildren and sisters coming for a visit! In return, I asked him about his happy plans for the holiday.
I was not prepared for his rejoinder. “Christmas is just like any other day for me,” he said trying desperately to hide his disappointment at being alone on such a day.
No! No! No! Jesus’ birthday is NOT like any other day! Whether it is miles or mistakes that separate him from his family and friends on Christmas day, nothing can separate him from Jesus’ love!
- May he never, ever feel truly alone again! Jesus, thank you for every extravagant promise that Christmas brings—love, comfort and joy, peace on earth and goodwill toward men, eternal life, redemption from every curse, and blessings of every sort! Dear Jesus, stand at the door of his heart, and knock.May he hear Your voice and open the door. Come in and dine with him and he with You (as You promised!)
Behold, I stand at the door and knock.
If anyone hears my voice and opens the door,
I will come in to him and eat with him,
and he with me.
I will come in to him and eat with him,
and he with me.
Revelation 3:20
My heart joins the hearts of my sisters reading this
post in saying, Happy Birthday! We love You!
Please, please, please come quickly!!!
My heart joins the hearts of my sisters reading this
post in saying, Happy Birthday! We love You!
Please, please, please come quickly!!!
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11/22/13
Thankful for Good Men!!! (A note from Sherrie)
Recently, while at work I went seeking information; hunting for the lady with the knowledge I needed, I found myself on the second floor of our church.
The hallway was filled with masculine voices, muffled from behind closed doors and softly emanating from open doors. Somehow, I knew I was walking on “sacred ground.”
Taking a closer look, I observed men with open Bibles discussing scripture; glimpsing through an open door, I saw three men, heads bowed in humility giving their needs to God in prayer. My soul felt an overwhelming sense of Gods’ presence and His pleasure in these men. Not wanting to intrude further on this male camaraderie, I escaped quickly down the stairs.
But I could not shake the impression that I had felt of God’s deep pleasure in what was taking place up there and His “kindredness” with these good men.
With that said, Ladies, let us not fail in this season of Thanksgiving to express our thanks for each the good, strong men in our lives!
My heart often admires the strength and kindness of my husband, Ruben. I feel so grateful when he digs a deep hole in the hard ground for me to plant a rosebush, or when he muscles my Christmas decorations down from the attic. His many, many thoughtfulness’s extend throughout each day!
My two sons and my son-in-law have become good men of strong character. When faced with a challenging situation they often ask themselves, “What would Dad do?” Drawing on the Godly wisdom of Ruben’s example the young men arrive at their answer.
Dad and me
My own father is a man I love and admire. A man of very small stature, he is a working man’s man. When I was growing up in Stinnett, Texas my dad decided to build a garage onto our house on Davis Street.
But first he dug a basement underneath—by hand! Every night after work, he came home and dug! His hole got so deep that he could no longer throw the dirt on top of it. So he dismantled his lawnmower, using its motor to power a conveyer-belt to move the dirt up top. Soon our yard was the favorite place for all the neighborhood kids to play. We had huge piles of dirt to play in and on.
We made caves, tunnels, roads for toy cars and steep hills for bicycles. Now here is the funny part of this story; weeks later, upon completion of this huge square hole which would become our basement den, my twenty-something-year-old father learned that the cost of having the dirt piles hauled from our back yard was the exact same as if he would have had the whole thing dug by machine!
Another favorite remembrance of my father from childhood happened on Sunday mornings. I would bring my gold locket to him, placing it in his rough hands that smelled like the cigarette he’d just extinguished; very gently, he’d lift my hair and fasten it around my neck. Together, we’d head out to the car and wait for the rest of our family to join us for the drive to Borger to church.
My three grandsons
I just love it when my three grandsons tromp through my door like a herd of little bulls. Each one comes to put their arms around my waist and lays their head on me, waiting for me to kiss them on their stinky head! Then the herd heads to my pantry to find chips and cookies!
God is an amazing masculine force and so is the man, His Son, and the Holy Spirit! God’s manly character is revealed to us through His many names in scripture, like “Abba” (Father), “El Roi” (God Who Watches Over Me), “El Shadday” (God Almighty), “Ish” (Husband), “Machseh” (Refuge), “Magen” (Shield), “Melek” (King), “Yahweh Yireh” (The Lord Will Provide). Jesus was named “Emmanuel” (God With Us), “Wonderful,” “Counselor,” “Almighty God,” “Prince of Peace.” His Spirit is also named “The Helper” and “Comforter.” The promises of redemption, protection and provision never fail!
GOOD MEN! Whether it is the ones whose leadership, comfort, wisdom, strength we depend on for help, provision and protection, or even the chivalrous stranger who opens the door then steps aside with a nod for us to proceed first; they are all to be honored with respect and admiration!
So receive him in the Lord with all joy, and honor such men...
Thanks, Sherrie! That verse in James after the "Blonde blog" is just what I need to read today. Praise God! Love the pics from the Women's Conference, and the ones about the women's retreat in Colo Springs. Hoping I can attend some of these awesome events taking place.
ReplyDeleteJancy Richards